Each
of us has times within our lives where we become frustrated and engage in a
disagreement with another person. Knowing strategies to help manage and resolve
conflict more productively is important as we push ourselves to becoming more
effective communicators.
Within my own life, I have had a
conflict with one of my coworkers due to the comments she makes about one of
her special education students. I am a very reserved person, but when it comes
down to looking out for the best interests of children, I become defensive. In
one particular situation I made sure to continuously make positive comments
about the child each time she had something negative to say. While this may
have been frustrating to my colleague at the time, I wanted her to understand
how it was a child we were talking about and while all children make mistakes,
it is not okay to continuously talk negatively them. Eventually she walked away
from me knowing I was not going to listen to the negative comments she was
making and the following days were discomforting until she finally came to
apologize to me.
One strategy which would have helped
me to manage this conflict more productively would have been to be a more empathetic
listener to my colleague by listening to her feelings and needs more so she could
calm down about her situation (The Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.).
Upon letting her finish her conversation completely, then validating her
feelings by summarizing what she stated, I could then recommend strategies for
working with the child instead of interjecting with positive comments about him
which cut off the communication the first time.
Another strategy I could try is to
state my own needs to my colleague which is that of needing all children to
feel safe and welcomed into our school, as well as having a supportive educator
because for many children, we are where they spend the majority of their day
and where they first learn to love school and build relationships (The Center
for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.). Due
to my need of feeling I must stand up for all children and help them to have the
same opportunities as the other children in school, I would hope my colleague
would understand where I am coming from after I identify and clarified my
feelings and needs. My hope would be for next time, there would be more mutual understanding
of where my recommendations and comments are coming from in response to my colleague’s
struggles with the child, therefore she would respond with an empathetic ear
and reflect upon her own strategies for communication.
Unfortunately I did not have the
opportunity to ask my colleague her input on this situation as she has been on vacation,
however I do feel my experience in reflecting on this situation has allowed for
me to grow professionally and to hopefully be a more professional and effective
communicator for the future.
Reference
The
Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent
communication.
Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/.
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