Communication Anxiety, Listening Syle, and Verbal Aggressive Comparison

            As O’Hair and Wiemann (2012) explain, your self-concept is “your awareness and understanding of who you are-as interpreted and influenced by your thoughts, actions, abilities, values, goals, and ideals” (p.47). Having the opportunity this week to become more in-tune with my own self-concept has allowed for me to learn how much harder I am on myself then what others perceive me to be.

            After reflecting on the scoring on verbal aggressiveness, listening styles, and communication anxiety from my husband, coworker/friend and self, I was surprised how similar our scoring was with each other’s scores. For verbal aggression and listening styles, each of the scores indicated I was a people-oriented listener and had moderate verbal aggression. I guess I felt as if my husband would rate me as more aggressive than my coworker/friend due to the amount of venting I do sometimes within our household, yet both found me to maintain a good balance between respect and other’s viewpoints (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009).

            One insight I gained about communication this week was how different you may perceive yourself in relation to how others view your communication. For example, in the communication anxiety scores I received, I scored myself as having moderate anxiety, my husband scored me with mild anxiety, and my friend/coworker scored me with low anxiety. I was impressed to find out how I present myself in a more professional and composed state when communicating, allowing me to hide any fears I may have when communicating across various contexts (Rubin, Palmgreen & Sypher, 2009). Knowing this information will inform my professional and personal life as I hope to maintain my communication style while being able to feel more self-esteem, leading to less personal anxiety and more confidence in my communication skills.

            Another insight I gained this week was how much of our perception of ourselves influences our communication and listening. I had not taken into account how much managing my own identities and technology influences our personal communications. The more I learn about how to reflect and adapt my communication skills in order to feel more confident in myself, as well as others, hopefully the more affluent I will become in communicating with the diverse individuals within our society.

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.

Rubin, R. B., Palmgreen, P., & Sypher, H. E. (Eds.) (2009). Communication research measures:

A sourcebook. New York: Routledge. Retrieved from http://mym.cdn.laureate-media.com/2dett4d/Walden/EDUC/6165/04/mm/quiz/quiz_communication/index.html.

Variations in Communication

            Communication is diverse as each individual within our society. Each of us has our own style of communication, as well as our own influences which shape our communication. As a result of the diverse individuals I communicate with on a daily basis, I do find myself communicating differently as I adapt to each situation I am in.

            For instance, at home I am a woman of few words as my husband and I after 10 years together rely on quite a bit of nonverbal communication, yet we understand the message we are trying to state, it just happens to be in a more efficient way for us within lifestyle. We both understand how head nod to the side means, “Hey, it’s time to leave and head back to our house” when we are out with friends, or when the dog barks at the dog and one of us looks at the other and smiles, we know that you just implied it is the other person’s turn to let the dog outside.

            In my professional life, I have a lot more opportunities to communicate with culturally and linguistically diverse individuals due to the wide age range of children I work with, as well as families who are enrolled in our school. When speaking with culturally diverse individuals, I find myself taking more of an active listener role because I want to ensure I remain respectful and also maintain open lines of communication with the people I am speaking with. In speaking with young children, I tend to be cautious of the vocabulary I use and make sure I use nonverbal communication with them in order to help clarify the meaning of what I am communicating to them.

            Three strategies I would like to use to help me communicate more effectively with diverse children and families, as well as individuals within my personal life would be to recognize my own patterns of nonverbal behavior, not attempt to predict a person’s behavior based upon their culture when communicating with them, and try to withhold my judgments long enough to gain a deeper understanding that what a first impression had allowed through active listening skills (Gonzalez-Mena, 2010). I look forward to continually reflecting on each of these strategies  as I feel they will help me to keep an open-mind and to be consciously aware of my own communication style and bias, allowing for me to be a more professional and effective communicator.

Reference

Gonzalez-Mena, J. (2010). 50 strategies for communicating and working with diverse families.

Upper Saddle River, NJ: Pearson Education, Inc. Retrieved from https://class.waldenu.edu/bbcswebdav/institution/USW1/201460_02/MS_MECS/EDUC_6165/Week%203/Resources/Resources/embedded/gonzalez_ch15.pdf.

Television Nonverbal Communication

            Nonverbal communication encompasses the conveying of a message without using words through behaviors (O’Hair & Weimann, 2012). Understanding the importance of how nonverbal communication aids in sending messages is important for educators so we can ensure we understand the ‘whole message’ being sent to us through communication.

            The show I chose watch this week, specifically for nonverbal behaviors was the show “Bones.” The show opened up with a group of characters, both male and female digging up some human remains, yet it focused on one male and one female. The female wore a blue jacket which made her appear as a researcher and the male had a badge which I assumed meant he was a police officer. Throughout the show the male and female were what appeared to be solving a mystery and were working partners. It seemed as if they were good friends as well as partners as they smiled often with one another and stood in close proximity when speaking. They had a calm nature when talking with each other, yet a commodore was at play when they often would touch one another on the arm in their conversations, causing the other person to raise their eyebrows and wrinkle their forehead as if they were joking with one another. When in the working environments (their office and a lab), both characters portrayed a sense of seriousness as they maintained tall posture and serious facial expressions with narrowed eyes. At the end of the show, I was confused as the two characters were shown in a short clip in a home with a baby and an older man came to the door and they handed the baby to the older gentleman. This caused me to wonder if they were in a relationship together or how they ended up in the same home and who the older gentleman was.

            Upon rewatching the show, I found out my assumption of the two main characters “Bones” or Dr. Brennan and “Booth” were indeed working partners, with one being a researcher for the Jeffersonian Institute and the other one a federal agent. Throughout the show I found out they were indeed a couple, and were actually married with a child. At the end of the show, it was actually Dr. Brennan’s father who came to visit his granddaughter, which explained who the strange man was. I was unaware of the relationship between the couple as they did not appear to be flirtatious, blush or have very close contact with one another throughout the show and the plot of the story was around solving a murder mystery, not their love story. Perhaps if I paid more attention to the amount of smiling and joking behaviors between the two individuals, I would have come to the conclusion they were a couple, however I often find it hard to judge whether people are in a relationship or not simply based on their nonverbal communication as they could just be close friends, or in this case, I assumed partners.

            I believe my assumptions would have been more accurate if I had been watching a show I knew well as I would have had some background information about the personalities of the characters prior to making assumptions about their behaviors. As O’Hair & Weimann (2012) explain, some individuals portray channel discrepancy, “a situation in which one set of behaviors says one thing and another set say something different” (p.130). I believe the actions of the characters portrayed one thing (serious work environment, yet with a closeness amongst staff) while in reality both the work environment and relationship of the main characters were serious, and were a main aspect into how the show’s events happened. Having more knowledge about the show and the plot would have helped greatly in my understanding of the show through solely nonverbal communication. An insight  I had as a result of this experience is you truly cannot 'judge a book by its cover,' even with the added bonus of nonverbal communication, it is difficult to make assumptions about who a person is, their relationship and their personality.

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.

A Competent Communicator in my Life

            “Communication is the process by which individuals use symbols, signs, and behaviors to exchange information” (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012, p.4). When I was a child I had the privilege of experiencing communication in a variety of contexts thanks to my father’s career in international business. It is his professionalism which has inspired me to write about his competency with communication.

            Due to my father’s role of working with individuals from around the world, from a young age I was taught both verbally and nonverbally (through observation) how to conduct myself in a professional manor amongst diverse individuals. In each of my father’s encounters with professionals within his field, my father always ensured to use direct eye contact, a smile, nod his head, use a firm handshake, and would summarize his correspondent’s statements while also asking for clarification. Each of these attributes my father used in his communication allowed for me to witness how easily communication can be when you remain professional and understanding of each member of a conversation, yet he always would explain to me how it took years of studying and experiences to fully comprehend  people’s individual cultural customs when it comes to communication. For example, whether or not he should make eye contact or use a handshake because in some of his communication encounters, he adapts to the individual’s cultural norms.

            My father’s ability to use his own research and experiences to accommodate for others’ communication styles has allowed for him to maintain his professionalism and open lines of communication with each of his coworkers. Being an active listener by nodding his head and summarizing people’s responses demonstrates his understanding and caring for what the other person is saying. In my own career, I have applied what my father has taught me and do my best to be an active listener in the discussions I have with others, as well as do my best to meet the cultural customs for communication with each individual child and family. Each person has their individual comfort level with communication (such as proximity, tone of voice), therefore I look forward to using some of the same skills my father had in his adaptability to the individualized person so I can allow for them to feel comfortable when communicating with me.

Reference

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New York:

Bedford/St. Martin's.